just this once...

would it be weird if i just moved to the far east to go study kung fu? yeah- like not finishing college, and not learning chinese... but still packing up my shit and moving across the world. well if i ever become a spontanious person, that's at the top of my 'to do list' (wait, do spontanious people even have to do lists ?!?). the next thing on the list would either be the peace corp, or special forces. I just can't decide if i want to help the good guys, or shoot the bad guys. I'm not even kidding when i say all this. these kinds of things constantly run through my head. I just always come back to the question "what am i doing here?" And by 'here' i mean: right now, in college and everthing. I'm a really big fan of the phrase "if your life was a book, would anyone want to read it?" But right now the answer would have to be, no- my book would suck. Although i guess my life is kind of a blog... which is kinda like a book... but nevermind. The point is: i feel like all the other 15,000 guys at this school. I'm going to graduate, get a job, work till i'm too old to do anything else, retire, and then die. what a shitty book eh? I just hate how it's 'wrong' these days to drop out of college and do something that excites you. It's not that college is too hard, it's just that college is too boring. hmm, i wonder what Indiana Jones would do.
-steve

no more drama... i promise

wow, this really isn't worthy of a blog... but it'll be the last time i complain (for a while). anyways, so the mystery girl really thinks that i still like her, and it's starting to get annoying. i've said that i'm over her, and i really am. really. but now everytime i try to talk to her, she responds like i'm desperately trying to get her to go out with me or something. for example: she came back to town to visit for a little bit and i said "what day do you leave, because i'm going camping and i might not get a chance to say bye." she replied "i'm sorry i can't go camping with you but we'll go some other time... and bla bla whatever" the point is-- my statement had no 'invitation'... in fact i was going camping alone. Ok well this is just an example of how she precieves everything i do. i'm not trying to sound like a jackass, but it's really annoying to have somebody twist everything you say into something else. if i don't talk to her for a while then she's offended and thinks i don't want to be friends... but when i do talk to her she responds like "oh it's cute that you have a crush on me, little boy". aaaahhhhrrrgg. well i guess just being friends is going to be harder than i thought...
-steve

rugged and manly

i decided that i want to be more rugged and manly... just in general. I went camping a couple days ago, alone! no tent either! yeah, like i said 'rugged and manly'. anyways, it was just getting dark when i decided to go to sleep. i realized my pocket knife was open and i decided to close it... but the blade wouldn't close because there was sand in the joint. i tried to close it for a couple minutes, then i got pissed and pushed the back of the blade really hard against this piece of wood- and BAM~! it snapped shut on my finger. it didn't really hurt, but it did cut the tip of my finger like 95% off. so there i was alone, 6 miles in the canyon with no cell phone service, and a bloody dangling finger tip. so i wrapped it in a rag, climbed to the top of this little mountain, got the phone working, and called my mom to say "come meet me at the trail head in like an hour and take me to the hospital". Unfortunately, it took me like half an hour to climb straight up the mountain, and by then it was too dark to see where my camp was. i thought: hm, i could climb back down... find my camp...get a flashlight... and then climb all the way up and over the mountain again. OR~ i could say, "screw the flash light... i'm hiking outta here". (i went with the second option). So yeah, 6 miles through a canyon with a bloody finger. Long story short: the doctor stitched the tip together, and said i might have a little less sensation there. Besides the calling my mom part of the story, i think it was pretty rugged and manly.
-steve
p.s. did i mention that i had to hike back in and out again the next day to get my gear... that's like 24 miles in 2 days.... not what my little camping trip was supposed to be

here goes...

So it’s late, my roommate is sleeping, and really good music is playing. It’s not often that I feel like typing about all the vague things that run through my head, but I changed up the blog, so why not eh? There’s a good chance that I could sound like a pussy on this one, but here goes: the lack of a girlfriend for the past 2 years has made me think… what am I doing? It’s not that I can’t just hook up with a girl if I really wanted to (sorry about sounding like a frat guy) but there’s been a reason. I think I’m tired of just playing around with the date-for-a-week game. I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one who still believes in true love these days. Did no one else ever read fairytales when they were kids? As lame as it is, I always loved the knight saving the princess thing. Call it cliché or whatever, but I still don’t get tired of the ‘save the day, get the girl’ theme, and especially the 'happily ever after' theme. I guess I just haven’t saved the day yet… so it’s only fair that I haven’t gotten the girl. But seriously, it seems like nobody cares about falling in love anymore. And I don’t mean the kind of love where you say ‘I love you’ when you hang up the phone. I mean the kind of love that makes not having that new car or dream house ok. Or the kind of love that makes you smile 40 years after you’ve been married. I’m talking about the love that makes you quit your job because you have to travel too much, and you’d rather turn down a promotion if it meant seeing your wife less. I don’t think it’s really that complicated, but love is all it’s cracked up to be. There wouldn’t be so many fairytales with a theme of true love, if it wasn’t anything special. The truth is—true love is worth waiting for, and it’s worth fighting for, and sometimes it’s worth dying for. The concept is simple… it’s the people that complicate things. I think I’d rather wait around for nothing than get married and divorced a few times. So here’s my theory: there wouldn’t be so many stories about true love if it never existed in the first place, so it had to exist at one point. Now maybe times have changes, but not for me. I’m thinking that if I play my cards right, it’s only a matter of time before I rescue a girl and we fall in love. And not that fake “we fight all the time love” or “she really pisses me off love” or even that “look at the size of my diamond ring love” I mean the good old fashion, unexplainable love; where we both feel the same way about each other and nobody else understands why. So there… that’s my ‘lame’ side that I’ve been hiding for so long. But nobody knows about this blog so I can say whateva I want! Lalalalalalalallaalalalaa aaaahhhhhh

-steve

ah, thinking about the past...

Don’t you like meeting up with an old friend and thinking about all the things you used to do together and stuff? Well I just hung out with my ex-girlfriend (natashia) after not seeing her for like 2 years. Unfortunately we tried to ‘catch up’ on the past… but absolutely nothing new or exciting has happened in her life in the last couple years. I guess it’s too bad, but it seems like she’s right where she was 3 years ago when we broke up. I’m pretty sure she still has the same ideas and thought processes and everything from when she was like 16. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just like the things that seem important to her are really pointless… and she has no concept of what is really important in life. (Ugh, like some many other girls I know…) well I guess that’ s why we broke up so long ago. If I had to sum up the problem in the relationship, I think it would be the fact that she was way too concerned with things that I could really care less about; like what other people were thinking, how she looked, how she could have more attention directed at her, etc. Anyways, I guess that if there’s a moral I can draw from all this it would be: people don’t change. It may take a while to find out what a person is really like, but once you know them inside and out, that’s it.

-steve

Tae Kwon Do!!!!!!!!

I just finished a tae kwon do tournament today. I thought the weekend was worth a recap, so let me start at the beginning: The tournament started yesterday, and it was my first time entering in the adult black belt division. I was pretty sure that I was going to get my ass kicked, but I ended up getting second... not first… but I’ll take it. I’m just going to use the excuse that the guy who beat me is a 3^rd degree black belt who’s like five years older than me. Right after the tournament there was a seminar that lasted all day. One guy taught a session that was pretty much Ninja 101. So yeah, that was bad ass, and I feel like a kung fu master right now. I guess the last thing worth saying is: these guys came from another school and basically made us all look like uncoordinated losers. One guy broke 7 bricks with an elbow strike…7… I counted! Another guy did a flying sidekick and broke a board that was being held by somebody sitting on another guy’s shoulders. So yeah that was also bad ass. To finish off, he jumped and kicked through three boards before hitting the ground again. So long story short, I need to go talk to that guy and have him complete my ninja training. Unfortunately, my heel is so swollen right now that I don’t think I’ll be climbing up trees anytime soon : (

-steve

change of pace

ok so the blog has been thoroughly reformatted, but I would say that it’s about time anyways. So I’ve debated starting a new blog and not telling anyone about it because it’s hard to say what I actually want to say when I know that everybody already knows about my site. Did that make any sense? Ok well anyways, uh I think this blog is going to end up going in a new direction. I’ve kinda had a little pre-mid life crisis. About a week ago, I decided I would learn how to do cool things. Just cool things in general. I feel like I’m just getting into the prime of my life and that I shouldn’t waste it by sitting around all day (like blogging for example). Anyways I stayed after Tae Kwon Do class really late last week with this other guy. We decided that we would stop being un-exciting people, and starting doing ‘cool stuff’. So a week later… along with numerous bruises… we can do a standing backflip! I guess it’s called a ‘backtuck’. But it’s all the same. Next week I think I’m going to learn the 'running up the wall flip' thing, but I’ll let u know how it goes. I guess that's what i mean by 'cool things'. So yeah, I have not only changed up the blog, I’ve also changed up my daily life a bit. I started waking up before class to go work out, and eating healthy, and… ok I guess that’s about it. So where is this whole blog going? Probably nowhere. But what I can tell you is: Backflips? -not so hard once you land your first one. Eating healthy? -not so hard after a week (actually, water is tasting really good now). Writing an interesting blog? -don't know, haven't done it yet. signing off? -doing it right now

- steve