a 2nd chance...or is it the 100th?

Do you know what is possibly the most vague question ever? How’s about this one: what was the best day you’ve ever had? hm, this is a tough one. I can’t remember ‘the best day’ I’ve had because nothing really stands out in my mind. I can remember a few days that have been really fun, but I don’t think that I’ve lived a day that’s worth reliving. As I think more and more about what would be ‘the perfect day’ I really can’t decide what makes a day perfect. All I know is that I’ve been doing something wrong every day of my life. Now I’m starting to look at things from a different angle. I’m thinking that every morning is a second chance- a way to improve upon what went wrong yesterday. I understand that it’s impossible to progressively become more perfect and live each day better than the last… but I feel like everyone (and myself) has failed to look at things from this angle. I’m not saying that I’m going to go out and ‘make a difference’ or something cliché like that, but I’m just curious as to how many 2nd chances we need before we can learn from yesterday. Speaking of cliché, this is kind of the 1 step forward and 2 steps back saying. Except in the picture I’m painting, we’re taking 1 step forward and 1 backward- so we’re really not going anywhere… which isn’t so bad.
But what still gets to me is when I ask people, “what did you do over the weekend?” and they say, “oh nothing really, I just went to some party” or “I just hung out with some friends and we didn’t do anything fun”. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with just ‘hanging out with your friends’… but when every week you say the same thing and don’t even seem to care about your own life and what you’re doing with it… aaarrgggg that just really gets to me. I guess what annoys me most is the fact that I say the same thing to other people.
I guess one of my biggest fears is living one day to the next and having all my memories just blur together because they’re all so insignificant.
So all this thinking has raised another question: suppose you do live a ‘perfect day’… then what? Would it be hard knowing that each day you continue to live can’t even compare to the one that is over? I’m not sure that makes sense, but think of it like a movie- if you know that the most exciting and dramatic and suspenseful part is over, then why finish the movie? But for some reason we do anyways. Just like how we will all finish out our lives living one day to the next. The only thing I’ve figured out from typing all is: My stubborn nature is probably the only thing that will keep me going. I’ll someday spend every minute of the day doing something worth remembering, and when that day is over, I’ll refuse to believe that it was perfect. Even when I’m too old to stand up, I’ll tell myself that I can live a better day than that one that stands out in my memory so well. i'll tell myself that i can always improve (even when i know it's not true) and I’ll never stop trying.
I’m pretty sure that this whole blog is a moral, so I don’t really have to sum things up… but I’ll try anyways: Each day is really just a second chance. And in reality, people fail to look at it this way. I fail to look at it this way. But my last question is- “how many second chances do you need?” I know I’ve had thousands of chances, and in my 18 years… I’ve yet to make one of those days really count. What if tomorrow is your last day? Would you really spend it by trying to complete a ‘things-to-do-before-you-die-list’? well suppose today is your last day, now you’re out of time to do anything else… even to take one more breath… so what do you have to show for it all?

-steve

p.s. I guess one of the secrets of life is to keep trying to live a better day. And even when you know you can’t… when you know it’s physically impossible- just lie to yourself and try anyways.
(hey what do ya know… I just figured out one of the secrets of life! And it only took me like 15 minutes!!)

attack of the 8 year olds

so now i have a job where i have to work as a summer camp counselor for a bunch of 1st and 2nd graders. If you've read my "i hate kids" blog then you know that well... i hate kids!!!! why i took this job- i don't know. All i can say is that kids arn't like people... they're more like monsters or animals or something. I'm not going to get all worked up over these insane little imps, but jut to paint a little picture of how my day went: in the morning, a kid ate my favorite guitar pick. At lunch, i got drool all over my shoe. At the end of the day, josh called anna a 'doo-doo-head' and aparently i'm supposed to do something about it. I really don't know what happened to parents, and what makes them think that it's okay to let their kids spin around in the middle of the room until they throw up. Although i've managed to keep a smile on my face (this week) i know that by the end of the summer a few more kids are going to end up on milk cartons or somehting. I hope my kids are way more cool than the ones at camp.

-steve

p.s. i told anna to call josh a 'doo-doo-head' back, but she said that he'll just get mad. then i suggested that she secretly get even with josh by putting dirt in his sandwich at luch when he's not looking. lol... i guess my job does have those little rewarding moments.
p.s. (ok that last part didn't actually happen... )

i swear there's a point to all this...

Is it pointless to write a song about someone if you know you're never going to play it for them?I'm not even going to try and stretch this blog out because that's really all i had to say. I know there's a moral here--i'm just not quite sure what it is.
suggestions are welcome...
-steve

Only an Interstate Away

I decided to try a little change of pace with my blogs. Rather that bore you with my usual drama, I’ll bore you with something else… my vacation! There’s really not too much to say, so I’ll drag this out as long as I can and start from the beginning: For the last month or so my friends and I have been planning a trip to Mexico. However, about 2 days before we were supposed to leave, just about everybody decided to cancel for one reason or another. Disappointed? Me? Hardly!!! The few people who still wanted to take a vacation decided to head down to San Diego. With less than 1 day notice, we all packed some clothes and left early the next morning. (I’d just like to mention that Spontaneity is not a word that comes to mind when I think of most of my friends. But for some reason, the most random group of people ended up piling into the car, and before you knew it we were at the beach.) I can’t believe how much fun we had! Everyone got along great and we seemed to have luck on out side all week. We found a cheap hotel on the beach and the weather was awesome. Besides the usual beach activity (surfing, tanning, sleeping, tanning, burning… did I say tanning?) there isn’t too much to say. I think the best vacations are the ones that you plan the day before you leave. Although I did blow a good $300, I would do it all over again. And don’t think that this trip was unproductive… anytime you have a guitar on an empty beach alone at night, you’re bound to write a good song or two. It’s just too bad that more of my friends couldn’t go.. oh well, the summer’s long and I’m sure we’ll have another chance. i hope.
-steve

p.s. ok so the moral of this blog is… um: “if you ever have a chance to do something, but you’re not sure it’s worth the time and money… just remember that you may not have the chance again… ever”

so what did we learn tonight?

Wow, do you ever have one of those nights when things just slowly get worse and worse? Well I just did… so let me share it with you. I went to a party that a certain friend of mine was having. At first it was alright, and I thought that a little alcohol would brighten things up. However, as my 4th or 5th cup of jungle juice began to hit me… I realized that things just weren’t as fun as they should have been. I ended up doing the ‘quiet-pensive’ drunk thing as opposed to my normal ‘talkative-fun' drunk thing . Anyways, I noticed that more and more people who I didn’t like began to show up. The alcohol eventually ran out and I started to sober up.
My good friend (that I will just call ‘Ay-Buddy’) was in a slightly depressed--no wait, just plain pissed off-- mood because a girl that he has sorta had a crush on was comfortably in the arms of some other guy. Of course things didn’t exactly go any better for me either, but I’m not even going to address that issue because it’s really none of my business anymore. Anyways, a few hours later 'a certain girl' was throwing up like crazy. This certain girl happened to be someone I (and my friends) really care about, so naturally we were glad to look after her. Ok I guess ‘glad’ wasn’t the right word, but I’m just happy that we didn’t have to take her to the hospital, and that she’s alright.
At about 2 am, I had completely sobered up, and I decided to go home and get some sleep before work at 8:30 later that same morning. As I was about to leave, ‘Ay-Buddy’ asked if I could take him home because he had to work also. We hopped in my truck and drove out of 'a certain girl's ' cul-de-sac.
Before we knew what happened, my radar detector went off and two cops blocked me in. up to this point I hadn’t done anything illegal besides drink...
The cop asked us if we were drinking, because he said he could smell alcohol (which was a lie). We told him we didn’t drink, but then when he pulled out the breathalyzer, we admitted that we did drink earlier, but we were sober now.
Through some divine intervention, I actually blew 0.00!!! the cop said, “this thing must be broken, there’s no way this kid’s good to drive”. By now there were 5 squad cars, so another cop started the field-sobriety thing on me. I passed with flying colors and I was as respectful and honest as possible, but the cops were such dicks that they were determined to dig up something on us. They gave the breathalyzer test to ‘Ay-Buddy’ and he blows a .07.
Now had we been 21, ‘Ay-Buddy’ could have even driven himself home- but since we were underage, they gave him a class 2 misdemeanor and now he has to go to court.
*I would like to take a moment to point out the fact that Ay-Buddy had enough sense to get a designated driver, and legally speaking- he wasn’t even “intoxicated”.
So what have we learned from this night? Here’s just a few things:

-in ‘‘a certain girl’s’’ case: you can get plastered, meet a bunch of people and have a great time… but when you almost drink yourself into the emergency room, you somehow end up with the some ‘ol group of friends.
-in “Ay-Buddy’s” case: you can do everything imaginable just to please someone you care about, but when you throw in a little alcohol… it’s apparently very easy for them to forget all about you.
-in my case: I’ve learned cops really are just pathetic pieces of shit, and no matter how honest you are with them, they will still refuse to act in a reasonable manner. In fact, cops will usually go the extra mile to screw you over as much a possible.

-steve

p.s. are most people really as shallow as the ones i just blogged about… or do they just fail to ever learn from nights like these?