Read it, because it's the last one...
So i'm in china now studying abroad for a semester, and the internet over here is censored. Just getting through to this site is an accomplishment. anyway, It's been forever since i've been to my own blog, so i took the time to go back and read some posts from a year or two ago. While it was fun to go back and read all those pointless rants, i slowly began to sense this subtle feeling of disappointment. Generally when you look back on things you've written in the past, you expect to see some changes and improvements. but no, there were none. Not only was the writing bad, but each topic was progressively more pointless than the last. For a while i had this blog set to "private" so nobody could read it... but then i decided- what the hell. I also wrote a post about the latest girl, who was actually "theee" girl... for like almost a year. i left the post up partially because i want her to stumble across it someday, and partially for the same reason i've left all my posts up: i'm not proud, or impressed by anything on this site... but at one point in time it was what i thought. anyway, so here i am in china... learning chinese, but not speaking it so well yet. believe it or not, people don't speak english here. it's kind of refreshing to not have anyone to talk to. I think i've talked too much from the moment i learned how to speak. for once, i can just shut up and listen and think, and nobody will say "is something wrong"... because no, for once... there isn't. there's nothing to bitch about. there's a lot to think about, though. it's almost enlightening or something. anyway, i'll admit my last post was a bitchy one. this entire blog has become a bitchy one. so this is it. i know a sinking ship when i see one, and i'm getting the hell off. I just want it to go on record that i realize how terrible, trivial, and poorly written this entire collection of blogs has been. But however retarded it was, this is how i got "here" and if you don't like some of the posts... guess what? i don't either. but if i can deal with it, you can too.
my original post:
wow, this is strange. it's like walking back into your old room after 10 years...or something. anyway, i realize i haven't posted a blog on this site for over a year. I also realize that my last post was just me bitching about some girl. but you know what? i gonna do it again. so i've been fairly happily dating this girl for almost a year... maybe that's why i haven't been blogging. anyway, now i'm studying abroad in china, and about two weeks after i get here she decides it's too hard. c-o-m-e-o-n. seriously? ugh. anyway. i'm not really sure what i'm bitching about. it's not even a bad break up, it's just a lame break up. She is a bit younger than be, but she's already used up that excuse way too many times. people these days are just lame (no offense directed specifically at her... just people in general). So it's tough for a couple months... big deal. there was a time when guys would go out to sea, or to war, and they wouldn't come back (or even be able to write back) for years. but now-a-days there's just this general trend of pussy-ness. the divorce rate is freaking ridiculous... it's all about "what you want" and not "what you have". basically, i just can't say things like this directly to her because that would just be down right mean. but......uh. seriously? i'm freaking tired of this whole: "it's hard...i can't do it" thing. you know what? fucking tough it out... walk it off, champ. you don't know how good you have it, and when you think it's bad... just remember it can always get worse. that's a lesson for everyone. seriously america. come-on.
i'm not really mad... just disappointed
-steve
p.s. ok so there's no morals here, but in the heat of all this negative blogging i'd still like to say that this girl was amazing in a number of different ways. i hope she finds what she's looking for. i hope we all do.
my original post:
wow, this is strange. it's like walking back into your old room after 10 years...or something. anyway, i realize i haven't posted a blog on this site for over a year. I also realize that my last post was just me bitching about some girl. but you know what? i gonna do it again. so i've been fairly happily dating this girl for almost a year... maybe that's why i haven't been blogging. anyway, now i'm studying abroad in china, and about two weeks after i get here she decides it's too hard. c-o-m-e-o-n. seriously? ugh. anyway. i'm not really sure what i'm bitching about. it's not even a bad break up, it's just a lame break up. She is a bit younger than be, but she's already used up that excuse way too many times. people these days are just lame (no offense directed specifically at her... just people in general). So it's tough for a couple months... big deal. there was a time when guys would go out to sea, or to war, and they wouldn't come back (or even be able to write back) for years. but now-a-days there's just this general trend of pussy-ness. the divorce rate is freaking ridiculous... it's all about "what you want" and not "what you have". basically, i just can't say things like this directly to her because that would just be down right mean. but......uh. seriously? i'm freaking tired of this whole: "it's hard...i can't do it" thing. you know what? fucking tough it out... walk it off, champ. you don't know how good you have it, and when you think it's bad... just remember it can always get worse. that's a lesson for everyone. seriously america. come-on.
i'm not really mad... just disappointed
-steve
p.s. ok so there's no morals here, but in the heat of all this negative blogging i'd still like to say that this girl was amazing in a number of different ways. i hope she finds what she's looking for. i hope we all do.
