oh, is that how college works

so i've officially settled into the college life. How do you know when you’ve “officially” settled in? when you go to bed at 4:30 in the morning, wake up at 8:45, put on socks and sandals, brush you teeth as you walk down the stairs, and sit in math class with a wet tooth brush in your pocket… then you are officially a college student. Not that going to sleep at 1:00,2:00,3:30, and 4:30 isn’t fun or anything… its just different. I think this winter I’m going to try to hibernate to catch up on sleep. But other than the academic part of college, school is fun.

-steve

happy endings

i just finished moving into my dorm room today and there's nothing left to do but blog. As fun as this whole college thing is going to be, there’s some things that i'm really going to miss from my old life- there's some people that im going to miss. Well you all know who you are. But there’s one person in particular… yea, you guessed it- it’s the same girl that’s been the focus of my last two posts. I said I’d keep you updated so here goes: She came over this morning before I left, and at first I really wasn’t going to play the song for her… but then she just said, “so do you wanna play me a song?” lol- What do you say to that? So I played it, and it went pretty well. Actually it went great. If you’ve read my blog called “Reaction” (http://noiseandwords.blogspot.com/2004/11/reaction.html#comments) then maybe you know what I’m talking about. But if you have no idea what I’m talking about then I’ll try to paint a picture: she smiled when I thought she would, laughed when I expected her to, and cried the whole time. You really can’t ask for a better reaction. and I know she’ll probably read this, so let me just say… although I may not have cried, it meant just as much to me as it did to you- if not more. You probably don’t realize this, but having you listen to all my songs really meant a lot to me. I wanted to say thanks because I’ve never really had an audience, and it makes everything worthwhile. I’m not sure who will listen to me now, but I’m trying to just laugh that off so I can keep typing… Anyways, just… thanks. I guess that’s all I can say. I’m not really too good at goodbyes so if I didn’t say too much don’t think that it wasn’t on my mind. I always thought that there would be some epic goodbye, but I guess, well, I don’t know. it just ends with a hug before you close the door. I don’t think I’ve ever been sad like this before, so maybe this is just new to me. It seems like things aren’t supposed to work out this way, but I guess it happens all the time. I guess you have to end one life before you start another. Well I think it was a good ending and I’m glad I had the chance to meet you guys. I’ll miss all of you.

-steve

p.s. there’s something about wanting to smile and cry at the same time that just makes a whole lot of sense right now.

i always catch the clock at 11:11

tonight i was trying to go to sleep but of course i'm thinking about the girl that i talked about in the previous blog. for some reason, my feelings have completely changed. well not completely... ok i'm going to try and explain this even though it's not going to make much sense. here goes: normally if i ever see a really hot girl, or someone who i know is completely outta my league, i just don't even bother to talk to them. but with this girl it's been a bit different. for once, i'm tempted to say something. i mean it's obvious i'm not going to actually say what i feel- because from experience i know it's better to just not say anything... but i'm tempted. i guess it's different because we're at least friends, so this isn't the usual case where i avoid making eye contact with the gorgeous girl all together. But today i felt like she was just the hot girl across the room who i should never even try to talk to.
So i'll admit that there really isn't a point to this blog. the real reason i'm typing is because for the last week or so i've caught the clock at 11:11, and i can't help but think of that song Konstantine. anyways, tonight i was laying in bed debating over weather or not i should get out of bed and blog. i told myself that if the clock was at 11:11 then i'd get up. and here i am. i really didn't want to get up, so i purposely tried to set odds that would be in favor of staying in bed, but how can you argue with that? i mean, it's obvious that the gods wanted me to blog tonight.
anyways, i guess the reason i feel like this girl is a "different person" or whatever is because i finally finished (almost finished) that song i was trying to write for her, and now i doubt that i'm actually going to sing it to her. she's the only one who's heard (...or listened to) just about all of my songs, but she's never heard one that was written just about her. it's always hard to sing a song to the person you wrote it to... but does that mean i just shouldn't sing it? or would it be pointless to write songs about somebody if they never hear it? i don't know...

-steve