Should’a used a rough draft…

Ok so the Virginia girl thing is done. This is the last blog about her, I swear. Okay so, I was talking to some friends (mainly a girl named Sarah) and she asked me if I ever told the Virginia girl how I felt. I said, “She already knows how I feel”. Then Sarah said, “ok, but did YOU ever tell her how your felt?”. Sarah then went on to explain how she has this whole theory about why I still talk to the Virginia girl. She decided that the only reason I still shoot e-mails back and forth with the Virginia girl is because, at least on a subconscious level, I want something to happen between us… and I probably just keep waiting for her to say something. Then my other friend said, “dude, you’re never gonna get over her until you’ve said everything you could possibly have to say”. And for once, I didn’t get all defensive. I actually just thought for a minute and said… hm, I guess your right. So today I just told her pretty much everything. She came over to my house to say goodbye cuz she had to leave for school the next day. I wanted to tell her the whole time she was there talking to me… but how do you come up with a segue for something like that? She was walking out the door when I realized that I’m going to regret missing my last chance to tell her. So I just said, “wait… there’s something I need to tell you.” I would love to just say bla bla bla, and get on with the story… but I can’t really skip through the good stuff. So here goes the summary: I told her about my lame resolution. I also told her that I regretted never telling her all this in the first place, especially after I found out that writing songs doesn’t really do a good job at saying what you feel (at least my songs don’t). But then I told her (and I quote) “ When I started liking you it was never like—oh, that girl’s hot. We should hook up” wow… smooth, I know. I guess what I was going for there was, well… she’s always been hot, but I haven’t always liked her. It was after I started hanging out with her, and I got to know her that I really started to like her. Realizing that I was crashing and burning, I kinda ended it there and said “yeah, so that’s all I got, you can go now”.

Ok now we analyze: It’s clear that it’s actually very hard to just say what’s on your mind. I never thought I was a complete screw up when it came to talking to girls… but no, no I’m just wrong.

I told all this to my roommate, and he asked what her response was. I told him that the Virginia girl just said “thanks [for finally telling me this? (Maybe)]” My roommate was like “and then…” I replied “no that was just it”. He flipped out and said, “so you finally pour your heart and soul out to this girl and all she says is- thanks?!?” I tried to tell him that it wasn’t some romantic confession… and that I did put her in a way awkward position. But oh well. I think the whole thing is kinda funny anyways.

Bottom line: I guess finally telling her everything actually worked. I don’t really have anything else to say to her… so yeah, I guess it worked

What I learned: I really should have planned out what I was going to say. I had an vague idea, but as soon as she looked straight at me, my mind of course went blank and I didn’t know where to start. I’m thinking next time I’m gonna go with the ‘talking to the mirror rehearsal’. Oh yeah, and I also learned that everything sounds better before you actually say it out loud.

-steve