Martial Arts... so complicated

(I wasn’t in a ‘writing’ mood when I typed all this, so it might not read very smooth. But all the ideas are there… you just have to find them)

For the past couple weeks i've avoided going to tae kwon do because i hurt my knee pretty bad. It's kind of ironic that now that i've hurt my leg, i really feel like practicing- whereas before i was in good physical condition and tae kwon do seemed like a chore. Well I thought that if i can't get into shape physically, i would brush up mentally and head down to the library. looking through the hundreds of thousands of books at the U of A library, i was surprised to see only a small section about martial arts. But i did find one good book though. i guess it's about quality, not quantity because i would rather have this one book than a whole shelf of useless books. Ok well in this book, a guy began to study tae kwon do here in the united states. Eventually he went to korea to study with a highly respected teacher. After reading about all the training this guy had to go through, i felt like my black belt was just handed to me. This guy trained for years and years- multiple times every day. I think it's funny how a black belt can mean as little or as much as one perceives. Don't get me wrong, i take pride in my belt, and i don't think it's meaningless. But some schools give black belts out like candy. Although i wasn't really just 'given' this belt, i certainly didn't earn it like the guy who wrote that book did. It's just kind of funny how we could both say “yeah i'm a black belt in tae kwon do”... but we have taken very different approaches to the art. And, we have very different results (ok, that's a nice way of saying that this guy could kick my ass). anyways, after this guy trained for years and years and received his 2nd 3rd and 4th degree black belt, he went to a temple for two days. The monks at the temple practiced Sun Kwan Moo martial arts, as well as spiritual development and other monk-like stuff. Form the few korean words i know, Sun Kwan Moo means: 'Zen' 'Style/Way’ and... well i don't know what the 'Moo' means. But anyways, the guy got the chance to 'spar' or fight these monks. The really interesting thing is that despite this guy's years of training, the monks won every match. Other Tae Kwon Do students sparred with the monks, and every time the monks won. I've always thought that there isn't a perfect 'way' or 'style', but after reading about how every single Tae Kwon Do student was defeated, i'm tempted to say, "damn, what are the Sun Kwan Moo monks doing that the rest of us aren't?" Well i still don't think that there's a perfect 'way'... but it's interesting to think about. I've been trying to apply the 'martial arts way of doing things' outside of class. I don't mean eating my cereal like a ninja... i'm talking about just having a slightly different mindset. Is it weird that as i was reading this book, a couple girls walked by (in the library) talking really loud about getting shit-faced at a party and not remembering what some guy's name was; and i couldn't help but be ashamed about our way of life here in the states. As i walked home, i was just noticing a bunch of people that were so caught up in their own conversations that i started to think of how pathetic and pointless everyone's life was. I'm normally not a depressing person who thinks that everyone else is annoying and just... i don't know- being obnoxious or something. I told myself that I should try to focus on things that are actually worth pursuing. At the same time though, I could relate to the ‘obnoxious’ people in the street, and I could see how it’s fun to be caught up in some moment that really won’t have a meaning in a year or two. I guess the end result of this whole experience is that I’m just tired of setting stupid goals and achieving them. I don’t really know how to describe what I’m talking about. It’s just a different mindset I guess, it’s like a feeling that you have, only you have it all the time. Maybe it could be described as an appreciation/respect for life or something. Ok, I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore. But I do think that it would be fun to go to korea and start Tae Kwon Do all over again. I can really seeing myself graduating college, visiting korea, and then just staying there for a really long time without even planning to. For me, martial arts is starting to become something that is as much a mental thing as it is physical. I’m not talking about mentally thinking about punching/kicking as I physically punch and kick, I’m talking about changing my expectations and understandings outside of tae kwon do. Martial arts is one of the few things that you can pursue your whole life, and always have more to learn. Unlike soccer, baseball, etc. you don’t practice to achieve one goal (a state championship or something). You practice for the sake of practicing. Some people think that you’re supposed to practice tae kwon do incase you’re attacked or jumped out on the street. While this is true, there’s still so much more to martial arts. If you can’t relate to what I’m saying then I don’t know of any way to describe it. Maybe I can say that you can think of “the martial arts way of life” like religion, but once again… religion kind of falls under the ‘goal oriented’ category. Now before you object, just think of it this way: would most people practice Christianity if there was no promise of heaven? Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could just practice Christianity for the sake Christianity? Now if you’re a Christian, I’m sure you’re going to say “of course I’d still follow the Christian way of life”. But just think of everyone else- would ‘most’ people still go to church and such. Well somehow all this is supposed to apply to martial arts. I think this is the part where I say that martial arts “as a way of life” is actually a very difficult thing to pursue, but it’s never ending. I guess that’s the part that relates to religion. Anyways, I would really like to keep practicing tae kwon do and other martial arts… but it’s too bad that all we have here in the states are ‘watered-down’ styles. Maybe someday I’ll at least begin to understand the art… for now, there’s just too much depth for me to grasp.

-steve