i'm a big pussy

well i went to tae kwon do today to work on a demonstration for this seminar that’s coming up. some guy showed up to play the role of the bad guy and he fits the description pretty well- tall, creepy, bald, and did i say creepy. he's pretty good at martial arts. in fact, he had me hold a board for him and he broke it with a knife hand (that means he broke it by stabbing it with his fingers. open hand! --fingers!!) he tried to get me to do it, and i thought i really could. i tried breaking the board twice with my right hand- i broke my nail and hurt my finger. left hand-same thing. then he broke it again just to show me how easy it is if your not a pussy. he then told me to punch him in the stomach as hard as i could. the first time i hit him, he laughed. i got offended and really punched him as hard as i could. he still laughed :( well today i learned that although i'm pretty quick, and reasonable strong, i'm just a big pussy! i always want to know my limits, and unfortunately i found out just how pathetic mine are.
pretty much all guys have looked at other people and though "i could take him in a fight". i'm willing to bet that most guys say that 95% of the time, no matter who their looking at. i guess it sucks that i'm a realists because i can't lie to myself like that. i would love to have the false sense of security that you get when you think you can kick everybody’s ass. but for me, i keep finding myself saying "oh, um... that guy looks pretty tough. i don't think i could take him... but at least i can out run him- right? wait no, i bet he's on track...shit that guy is just better than me at everything. i hate that guy!" i guess all i can do is keep working out and training until i become a self-defense machine! look out world, a 5 foot 10, 150 pound rambo is coming to town... and he knows tae kwon do!
-steve